Rhonda's A 'Muse'-ing Rambles

Life and Times of a Busy Woman

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Fat travels, aka Saggy Boobs and Dun-Laps disease

Posted by Range Officer Rhonda on November 30, 2009

Those of you that follow my blog [and any new readers that are just dropping in], know from looking here that I rarely talk about myself or family. But today, I wanted to discuss an old myth or belief. Fat travels as we get older. Things stretch out and get misplaced on our bodies, creating such things as saggy boobs and bottoms, Dun-laps disease, baggy jowls and so on. First of all, those of you who don’t know me well – I am fat. Always have been.

Now – background. Fact or myth, I know that all my life I have observed this phenomena that heavy people and large chested or bottomed people eventually develop this ‘sag’. It was highly evidenced in my mom and both grandmothers as the older they got, their, um, parden the insensitivity, their boobs started to look like tennis balls in the bottom of a sock. A long sock. A tube or knee high sock. OK. I could deal with that. It was part of life and genetic heritage. It was gonna happen to me.

So, applying this theory to mine own self, I looked in the mirror at these two lumps of useless ‘fill’ on my back side just below my waist line. I call them my saddle bags. I have no butt or hips to speak of, never have – but have always had these two love handles. [Don’t we have great names for some of these things?] I have railed in the past that nature should have just shoved them down a few inches and I would have a nice curvy bottom and maybe some hips thrown in to boot. Or I’ve said my butt was displaced. Whatever. But in the back of my mind, I just knew – I KNEW – that eventually the fat would creep down in my older years and give me the curves in the place I wanted them. Kinda like the saggy boobs.  Well, I’ve passed the 50 mark a while back and it STILL HASN’T HAPPENED. I still have the saddle bags, flat butt and no hips to speak of. Still can wear the size 12 jeans and have the sides and rear bag loose on me.

I’ll also note here that the boobs aren’t in any hurry to keep up the tradition either, although they may have changed their point of focus, if you get my drift. So what I want to know – is what the heck happened? All these years of waiting – and the myth has proven to exclude me. Nature – I want my well deserved and long awaited butt so I can wear a pair of women’s jeams and look like a danged woman in them! I’d even take the saggy boobs as a trade off. I served my time as a perky youth and deserve some benefits of genetics and older age, right? Nuff said.


One Response to “Fat travels, aka Saggy Boobs and Dun-Laps disease”

  1. It is the coolest site, keep it so!

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