I realized when looking over the blog recently that it seems I haven’t been posting here. Not the case, but a lot of the postings have been kept private and only sent to a select few as they deal with personal issues not suitable (in my eyes) for generic public consumption. Too many weird people out there [not YOU reader!].
Life hasn’t been that great with all our retirement almost disappearing (stock market/banks crashing), the loss of a job from our main bread winner, unable to get unemployment, loss of medical insurance and nobody will sell me any as self employed because I am diabetic….and so on. But see, I am not the only one in this boat and I realize that. I see it increasing each year in my clients, friends and family and it was just a little slower reaching our area. But on the bright side of things, we have our health, so far; a breather on income as this is a busy season for me [taxes] so we’ll eek by for awhile and the added bonus that we weren’t and never have been seriously in debt – a modest mortgage & only one car payment that is nearly paid up. No credit cards, no second mortgages or liens, no extravagant life style. But also, no retirement and no insurance, so the slightest little thing could throw us into a tail spin. We have 3 years to figure out how to get my son into college since this year he’s proved that a scholarship probably isn’t in the works due to his grades and yes, attitude towards school.
Life could prove to be an interesting experiment right now. Last year I read a wonderful book titled, “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle” [see my review of the book at: http://storycirclebookreviews.org ] I’ve always valued the produce from my gardens and tinkered with new things; also, we hunt and fish and always have something in the freezer. Now it seems one of the little cost cutting & belt tightening tips will be to eat MORE from the garden, woods & lakes and less from the store. Not much for fast foods or restaurants, it should be a relatively easy transition for this household. Simply put, my hubby and son much prefer eating my cooking at home and once in a blue moon, they actually contribute to the fixing of a meal. Last year I accidentally experimented with potatoes and found a quite tasty treat that is easy to grow. We still have a battle with the local wildlife to contend with and the past year’s drought has severely decimated our fruit trees, so there may be a year or two of recovery that could hurt us. My husband will love stuffing the freezer with meat & fish – if he can get any; and I can always make a day trip somewhere and bag something to bring home, whether it be animal, vegetable or a miracle. We’ve been successful with chickens & rabbits in the past as well [although the bunnies mostly become pets or we give them away]. We aren’t going to starve if we can just generate enough money to make the house, tax & utility payments. Forget insurance – I’ll just do a lot of extra praying that we don’t get hurt or sick.
The person this is really hurting the most is our teen son. [Well, the marraige is suffering badly as well as tempers run high due to circumstances we can't control - money makes great fuel for some hot discussions]. My son, I will admit, is a spoiled brat. Granted, he has done a lot of things for his ‘moral & ethical’ character such as church involvement, band, Boy Scouts and such; he’s an avid reader [I believe reading increases a person's worth and improves their outlook on life] and he was – empasis on the WAS – a good student in school until this year. I hate puberty. But again, my son is a spoiled brat and I do take a lot of the blame on myself. When his friends got something, like a cell phone, then he got one as well. The latest books, movies, games – he gets them. Usually there is a task/reward system [get a good grade, you get XX; help me with this class and you can go see XX with your buddies and so on]. But he has never wanted for anything nor had to work very hard. Sure, he’s taken out the trash since he was 4 years old and other chores, but they are so routine he doesn’t even see them as chores anymore. Now, though, he is getting lazy and sometimes addicted to his computer when a friend is on or stays up all night to read a danged book, no matter that the next day is a big test at school that he forgot to study for – yea, right. But a lot of things will have to start in the ‘cut back’ zone, less books to buy, serious cut back on that favorite snack [which is milk and bread], less running around with the friends, no more buying computer time to play on line games, no buying new books, not much going to the movies or bowling alley with friends. With puberty in place, this is getting to be a hassle. We’ve never had to say “No” so much before. It’s tough, but I take the blame for it.
My husband brought up an interesting point the other day when we were discussing the boy that was in the news – he shot his father. So my husband wonders – in a fit of anger, if we deny something or take something away from our little {over 6 foot tall and built like a linebacker} walking hormone boy, will he explode and shoot us as well? It’s a very valid question in our household as our home is loaded with guns, compound bows, knives, etc. The guns we don’t worry about so much because they are always kept unloaded and locked into various safes unless we take them out to hunt. The kiddo does NOT know where the keys are to the big safe nor does he know the combo to the little one and he has never expressed an interest in knowing. But it would be easy for him to find out – I’m not so dumb as to think my son can’t be observant and crafty if he needed to be. But with all the bows, arrows, knives & such easily at hand and, thanks to mom and dad, the boy is awesomely adept at using them – who needs a gun? He’s intelligent though and could get to the guns. Should we worry? I don’t think so – he is very well trained with them and safety conscious. But with all that crap on the news and the advent of boy hormones walking around – who the heck knows? Hopefully, this is just a phase of mom-worry. But still……
Life will change and the sun keeps coming up to brighten my mornings, the birds still flock to my window to scold or sing to me – so I gotta believe it will all work out in the end.
You ask what my own personal sacrifice in this will be? Books. I gotta quit buying books. Thank god I frequent the libraries. My goals this year – less reading, more writing; less volunteer work & more work for pay; less store bought and more homemade everything. I feel like one of those super heroes sometimes – in the back of my mind I hear this character saying as he amps up his super hero stuff, “I HAVE THE POWER”.
Those of you who know me will appreciate how hard it is for me to limit myself to 4 sentences – even if I am talking about a leaf that fell on the ground. So my challenge will not be to read, learn and enjoy these memoirs – but to succinctly and briefly retell my experience within the book. How fun – a learning it will be! I haven’t completely determined which 4 books I will be reading, but here are a good 3 to start with [can I change later? I don't know]
