Mom & Dad

I just wanted to share a picture of my mom and dad, just months before mom passed away and before dad had his heart attack and slipped into dementia.

If you are wondering who that strange face in the middle belongs to – that would be me!

Update on dad

I had to include this portion of email about dad from my brother. It sums up everything he is having to deal with right now. I did not correct or omit anything except names.

second nursing home sent him back to XXXXXXxx for re evaluation of meds fighting with residence and making sexual advances unwanted to the female residents. They dont know when he can return to the home or when he,ll settle down. he seems to be getting worst every week. i have a contract on his condo 143000  but no takerss on truck yet with gas the way its getting trucks are hard to get rid of.working on application for va home in XXXXX still have to get dr. statments and notary then its waiting game.noth here but rain and storms crappy holiday week end. we did get every thing out man was it alot of stuff even leaving most of the furnature and appliances.losts of mixed boxes itll take months to go through.still sorting out his paper work. elec goes off 27th home phone is off and insurance on boat, truck, and condo ends 30th. IRS send letter he owed additional 1173.00 I had to pay and his dr. bills are terrible medicare only pays 33% when he is at XXXXXXX. his meds are running about 1500 a month untill I can get him a prescription plan that enrollment aint till nov. va dont blister pack so he cant get his meds through va.  we have about 2000 worth of meds here he cant use because they are not blister pack or have been opened. He kept losing his meds and we kept having to get new ones when he was still loose. found most of the when we moved every thing now we have a stock here he cant use exept if we take him out for a day or so to holiday or event but seems unlikely unless he settles down. any way I could go on forever but that gives you the general idea. Ill let ya know if he finally gets settled in for visits.  the only thing that aint stored is brother R has grandfather clock and I have some of his tools. storage is full!!!!!!!!!  Planning garage sale but moms chest,shells and such wont go but to family. Ill know more whats what when I start going through stuff and garage sale the nicknacks. any way by for now  

Nature friendly yard

Phew! I smell like – sort of a citronella candle! I was playing out in one of my little gardens and moving around some plants and brushed up against my latest ‘mosquito plant’. This is one of the genetically enhanced plants that is supposed to ward off mosquitos. I think it is just a citronella plant with a different name tag. It smells great when the wind is blowing softly from the south.

My husband is working this weekend on building a new small herb garden in the back of our yard. Since I’ve been wanting to try a few new plants, I picked up some skull cap (for ground cover) and a small chocolate mint. We’ve found that lemon basil does real well here no matter where we put it. Ah! The aromatic herbs.

The lizard population is expanding. For years, we had one Texas horned lizard that shows up every year, but we haven’t seen him this year (yet). He’s been my favorite all along. Always, we have the battle of the geckos getting in the house and smashed in the doors. They sit there by the doors, maybe as a great hunting area where the bugs are drawn by the light leaking out the doors and windows. Then, when we open the door, they dart into the house. About 50 percent of them get smashed in the door frame – ick – scraping geckos. Now I hold the door a little longer and look around to make sure I’m not gonna make gecko paste. I no longer try to stop them or catch them in the house; if they can find mosquitos and spiders to munch – more power to them I say! We’ve never had a problem with roaches, fleas, ticks, ants or silverfish in the house, so I want to believe the geckos are doing their job since we have never advocated using massive doses of chemicals inside or along the outside walls of the house. Way to go geckos!

Back to my husband’s herb garden. While relocating some bricks and rocks for the base of the new raised garden – of course my husband came across some eggs. Nature loves our yard – we find eggs and nests everywhere! This time, it is lizard eggs. I’m hoping for more geckos, but can live with just about anything. My husband and son carefully prepared a nursery and relocated the eggs to another spot. Now how many people would do that? Last month it was the wren nest on our patio table – the wren found it where we moved it a few feet away, thank goodness. So now we have lizard babies to  look forward to as well.

A new lizard, more than one, has appeared in our gardens the past week. While we have enjoyed the Anole family for a few years with their red-throated, push up antics, another type has moved in and hopefully will not encroach on Anole & Gecko territory. Before I tell about the new lizards – I have to mention that yesterday I found one of the male Anoles enjoying – Hummingbird nectar! I’ve often seen the anoles lick the leaves of a plant after I have watered. But it was fascinating to see this little lizard lap on the leaves of my sego palm. I hadn’t watered, so couldn’t quite figure out what he was going for. Then I saw a drip – looked up, and there was the hummingbird feeder! It would sometimes drip a spare drop or two down onto the sego palm, and there the little anole was having a feast. I hope he didn’t get a nectar high! Who knew they would like that? I tend to attempt keeping the feeders from dripping so they won’t draw ants, but this one I think I will allow, as long as the lizards have the problem licked.

The new lizards – back to them. I think they are some kind of racer. I’m familiar with the blue racers, quite common back home in Missouri. But this one is brownish with a white stripe. Of course, I’ll have to look it up and see if I can find it on the internet. I saw the first one Friday afternoon, it was about 9 inches long and FAST! Very skittish. Then my son found one on Saturday about half the size and pointed it out to me. It was perfectly well hidden on the bricks of my home, but because it was skittish, it moved, so we saw it. It’s possible this may be a family of brown anole’s – I just don’t remember the destinctive stripe down the back. It looks somewhat like a Sand Dune Lizard we brought back from the coast one time – except for the stripe.

So – more eggs to watch, more nature moving in. Just as long as they aren’t more snakes. We have an assortment of those also. Mostly non poisonous, but the rattlers find their way in too.

 

Oh, my Bleeding Heart!

Earlier this year I planted Bleeding Hearts around one side of my koi pond. I was so delighted when two of the plants came up and proud to show off the foliage to my husband, son & visitors. Here is the sad part. The plant was about 7-8 inches tall when I left town on Sat AM. Now, there is NOTHING there. Not a leaf, a stem in the ground, not a thing. No animal prints either. So the question is – what happened to my bleeding hearts?

I can only think of 3 culprits. First, the snails. For some reason, the snails this year have been terrorizing my petunias. They gang up on one plant and overnight, the entire plant is gone. So we put out slug/snail bait.

Next – the rabbits. Generally, the rabbits don’t come this close to the house as my Koi pond sits in a little 12 x 12 alcove surrounded by 3 sides of my house with only an opening out to the front of my yard.

The Gargoyle Squirrel. An onery squirrel has taken up residence in my yard. At first he was cute. Then he started digging in the back yard and taught the dogs a ‘cool’ place to dig. Once started, I now have a 3 foot by 20 foot of St. Augustine grass missing in my yard. The dogs are being monitered more closely. After the grass came my backyard experimental raised garden. Again, the digging squirrel followed by the digging dogs. This battel is on-going, but the Hibiscus and Potato plant ground cover are the only remaining plants. Lavendar, zinnia, marigold and others have bitten the dust. Next, the squirrel came across the roof to the front yard. He got his name ‘Gargoyle’ from sitting on the corner of my porch frequently. He’d leap down into my large flower planter and dig up the petunias. He also makes frequent forays into the garden by the corner of my drive. He doesn’t bother the geraniums or ice plants – just digs the petunias. Now – has he learned to like the bleeding hearts? I’m a pretty good tracker but so far, there doesn’t appear to be any dig or tracks around the spot where the Hearts were last seen. Just smooth dirt. So maybe it’s not the squirrel? 

Oh, my Bleeding Heart! Come back!

Mmmm stands for Mom

Mmmmm stands for Mom

 

When you walk in her house and smell the pot roast cooking, you say “Mmmm”

 

The feeling you got as a little girl and she hugged you for no reason, say “Mmmm”

 

When you carried in the sun baked sheets from the line and wrapped the warm fragrance around you, you close your eyes and say, “Mmmm”.

 

When you come in from the snow and stomp your wet feet, then sit at the kitchen table to enjoy hot chocolate, your tastebuds say, “Mmmm’

 

When you catch a whiff of a lady walking by and smell the lingering fragrance of Chantilly or Chanel #5, you think of mom and think, “Mmmm”.

 

When you sit on the porch with your favorite hot tea that mom once gave you, you put up your feet, relax, sniff the brew and say, “Mmmm”.

 

When you wake to that smell of fresh roast coffee, your memories bring back those wakings when young and mom made the first pot of coffee. Close your eyes and say, “Mmmm”.

 

When you hug that little child, fresh from it’s bath and see the sleepy eyes look at you while that little hand grasps a handful of your hair, feel the “Mmmm”.

Coffin for breakfast?

My son and I saw the most bizarre thing this AM. We were driving a back road to his school band competition and just as we were driving past an old cemetary, beside the road (about a dozen feet off the road) was a coffin. This is no joke! There were no cars, no trucks, no bulldozer – just a coffin sitting there all by its lonesome. Running barely on time, if not a little late, my son said he didn’t want to back up and go look at it again. (Darn). I didn’t stop until we had passed it maybe 100 yards – it took my mind that long to figure out something was very weird here. Why would an unattended coffin (with a body????) be sitting out with no person to attend. It creeped my son out so we didn’t go back to visit and later in the day, I’d completely forgotten about it. Now I’m burning with curiosity again, but it will have to wait until tomorrow before I go visit that spot again. Now if there ever was a cue to get your creative writing juices flowing – a sole coffin beside the road would definitely do the trick!

Moms and Hummingbirds

Since I earlier in the month mentioned a pregnant hummingbird, I’d like to report her status. After no sign of her for two days, I finally did see her back at the feeder, no suspicious lump in her belly. I guess she finally finished laying her eggs. Poor thing, she just looks ruffled and haggard. She’s not sleek and beautiful like the ruby throated males or the black/gray birds with brilliant white neck bands. She is just kind of blah with her tail feathers worn and maybe plucked to feather the nest. She’s flying better and faster though, now that she’s done growing and depositing her eggs somewhere near by.

Speaking of mothers -this is funny. We have what we like to term as an animal friendly yard. There is plenty for all and often seems we are at war to get the fruit, veggies, herbs or just flowers to prosper with nature taking a whack every time we turn around. Recently, my husband decided to start saving his coffee grounds to use around the garden. He had a plastic red Folgers can, sans lid, sitting on the patio table with a few grounds in it. One day, we noticed this little wren kept jumping in, spending a minute or two, then leaping out and taking off. We thought this was hilarious and that the wren must have an addiction to caffeine. For three or four days we watched this activity, then yesterday, my husband called me out to the yard. He asked me to look in the coffee can. So I did. Guess what? There are no more coffee grounds – just a cute little bird nest. Now, this is on our patio table, not two steps from the back door, which is constantly in use. What to do? Should we move the nest to a less conspicuous spot? Finally, we just decided to not touch the can and leave it there on the table. Hey – if Mama Wren wants to be part of our social circle, she’ll just have to put up with the in and out traffic. Hopefully, the next major wind storm won’t blow the can off the table and send it flying across the yard. No, there are no eggs yet. If they show up, I’ll take a picture and post it here. We don’t often have Wrens here, so I hope she makes a successful home here amongst the cardinals, mockingbirds, finches, wild canaries, sparrows, dove and other such critters.

Momma lizard seems to have done well this year – there are dozens of cute little green lizards living out front by the pond. Momma is docile and often suns herself on the Sego Palm  - except when the boys start their posturing and red throat displays. Then she vanishes while they chase around and try to find her.

Momma bunny is giving me fits. Bad momma! After she had her babies, about 4 of which lived and have scampered off now to live in the woods, she keeps coming back. She sits at the edge of the fence and torments the dogs, she can be found there day and night. Now that is OK – we’ve got the big garden fenced and rabbit/deer proofed and the barrel gardens are inside the fence with the dogs. But momma and her relatives are eating my flowers. This week, the cannas, which were slow to come up, get eaten down every couple of days. Now, I did have a wire barricade around them, but my husband saw fit to remove it and said it wasn’t necessary. Wrong. Now my barricade is back up and the cannas are almost 6 inches tall. They have a LONG way to go.

Momma squirrel is getting to be a pest too; mostly because she started to dig for acorns – and now the dogs can’t stop digging there. Then, when the squirrel gave up on the back yard, she came around front and is digging up my pansies. What could she want with pansies? She sits on the corner of my roof just above the koi pond, still as a gargoyle. I think she believes I don’t see her. When I turn to go into the house, she jumps down in the gardens and starts to dig. I’ll have to get a shot of her gargoyle pose, it’s cute – her damage is not.

Dear Mom

Dear mom,

 

I felt I had to write you a letter today, it’s been so long since we talked. There are so many things I have wanted to tell you, and just haven’t been able to say them to you.

 

I’ve tried so hard to live up to your expectations and be the person I think you would like me to become. Your examples over the years – patience, wisdom, understanding, frugalness, caring for others, working hard and playing hard as well – have provided me a foundation for living my life.

 

I know I more than once exclaimed in that dramatic way of teen daughters that I would never be like my mom. What was I thinking? I don’t have to do the same things or even like the same things to be a good person like you were.

 

I promised you I would take care of things when you were gone, especially helping dad. And now, now I think I’m failing you and I feel so bad. When you left us, not only did I lose my mother, but I lost my best friend. Your friend Betty called me today, she wants to know why I am letting my oldest brother take over dad’s care and spending all dad’s money and forcing the nursing staff to allow no visitors. Dad’s in a prison in his own mind, mom, and part of it is my fault since I finally turned care of him over to the boys.

 

Yes, I know you woke me up when you visited me in a dream. I wanted to talk to you longer and you wouldn’t stay – you told me to wake up because my house was on fire. I wish you could have stayed and spoke longer, there is so much I want to share.

 

The flowers you sent to Todd – yes, mom, everyone knew they came from you. I’m curious how you did that – how did you put snap dragons in that empty pot on his patio?

 

And dad knows you were there in the hospital with him when he had his heart attack – he’s not the only one who saw you. You kind of scared a few people because they think your visits are creepy. But I believed the nurse when she described you to me, and I believe dad when he says you were there.

 

I didn’t cry at your funeral mom, just like you asked. I was strong for dad and the boys and all your friends. I know I promised you a lot of things and I told you not to fight so hard anymore – that it was OK for you to stop feeling the pain and leave us. But mom, I just can’t take it anymore. I have to cry. I just can’t do all the things you wanted me to do. All I can do now, is be the me you raised me up to be.

 

Love to you and all the other angels in heaven, Your daughter

Cough it up

Coughing has become a major portion of my time spent this past month, so I’m reminded of a funny story that happened to my friend, Dina the werecat.

One of Dina’s jobs is to deliver and sometimes help plant items from her friend’s nursery in Central Texas. On this particular day, she was helping an elderly lady plant some spring flowers, and typical to the area, even though it was February, the temperature had soared over 90 degrees that day. Although not often affected by allergies or cold symptoms, Dina had a tickle in her throat when she left the nursery and was often clearing her throat to try and lubricate it or loosen it up so the tickle would go away.

Toiling away at the direction of the customer, a very nice woman, Dina began to heat up as did the customer, both over dressed and unaccustomed to the unseasonal heat. Before coming to work earlier that day, pre-dawn in fact, Dina had shifted to one of her larger cat forms and hunted for rabbit, dined nicely on the plump spring bunny, then spent a lazy morning grooming herself.  Now, she was hot, tired and thirsty. Sitting back on her haunches to wipe her sweaty brow with a sleeve, Dina reaches for the water hose to take a drink to soothe her parched throat, which was causing her to cough even more.  “Oh, honey,” says Mrs. Youngst, “don’t drink that water”. I’ve got a nice jar of sun tea that I set out this morning and it won’t take me a moment to get two glasses”.

Thinking the tea would go nicely towards soothing her tickley throat, Dina agrees and rinses her hands off before moving to a chair set in the shade of a nearby Burr Oak. When Mrs. Youngst comes back with two large sweating glasses of iced tea, they sit and visit for a few minutes about, what else? – the weather. Instead of soothing her throat, however, the tickle seems to get worse after a few sips of the cool brew and shortly Dina finds herself coughing and gagging. Concerned, Mrs. Youngst is hovering over her like a nervouse butterfly while Dina is waving her help away.

Suddenly, giving one last choke, something comes out and goes ’splat’, right in her hand. Flushed with embarrassment, Dina quickly takes a napkin and hides away what is in her hand. “My dear, are you all right?”, the kind lady softly asks as she pats Dina’s shoulder gently. Dina, though mortified with what she holds in the napkin, assures the dear soul she is now fine and takes a long swallow of the now soothing tea. What she held in her hand, and quickly stuffs away in her work bag – is a hairball. She’d never coughed one up in human form before, only in cat form, so she hadn’t been aware of what the signals were telling her. Had the old lady seen the hairball, there’s just no telling what she would have thought, but for Dina, this was one of the most embarrassing moments she’d ever had in human form.

I’m thankful for

More than once today someone passed on a comment about writing about things we are thankful for. It was mentioned in one place that we should write something every day (for a week, a month – any period) that we are thankful for. So today I am going to write a short little piece on what I am thankful for today.

I am thankful for my imagination and the ability to see the humor in life, even when it can be sad or stressful. Let’s take today for an example. I had to go to the hospital today to get some tests done (xray) after a visit to my doctor proved that I’m not getting over my pnuemonia after nearly a month. Since my doctor wrote on the hospital orders that the tests were indicated for pnuemonia related issues, the lady at the registration desk insisted that while I was in the hospital that I wear a face mask so that I wouldn’t infect anyone – if I was infectious. So, in the various waiting rooms, strolling the halls – every where, with an occassional cough, cough, hack, hack, wheeze wheeze – I am seen wearing this mask. The looks I got from so many people! Sitting in the waiting room, someone would get up and move to the other side. When I coughed, people who may have been walking in a straight line suddenly veer to the other side of the hall. What do they think I have? Am I suddenly a typhoid Mary? Inside my imagination, and behind the mask, I smiled. Then I frowned. It’s funny to watch people’s reactions, but also sad that people have to be so fearful of a little cough or something that appears on the outside to be just a little different and mysterious. I know the 3 ladies in xray were asking, after I left the room, “I wonder what terrible thing she has – do you think we should be worried?”. And the intense young man with a tissue in his wringing hands – was he going to get up and go wash his hands – yet again?

Yes, I’m thankful for my imagination and the immediate jump I make to see the humor in life as it hits me; and I’m also thankful that I can also see that some things aren’t funny – they are just sad because of how some people have so much fear and sadness in their lives. I don’t really want to make that fear or sadness worse, so I really shouldn’t have smiled (my first reaction) behind my mask at how uncomfortable people were to be around me just because I had a mask on my face – for their protection!